A Special Edition of What Were You Thinking
There are three words for “Love” in the Greek language. They are: Agape, Eros and Philia. Agape is the type of love used frequently in the Bible and especially in what is known as the Love Chapter, (1Cor: 13). The kind of love that is sacrificial and all encompassing. It is also the kind of love God has for His children, actually shown by God to His children by example. Keyword: Charity.
Then there is “Eros”. Eros is the Greek word for a desirable affection. The type one would have for a spouse in love making. The most famous ancient work on this subject would be that of Plato’s Symposium which speaks to the students of Socrates on the subject of Eros. Plato also thought that Eros did not have to be a sexual kind of love but still passionate. In otherwords, a sexual relationship is not necessary but aside from it has all the passion of love that married people have, but not the only love they have. Keyword: Passionate.
Finally, we have the Greek, “Philia”. Developed by Aristotle and meaning a friendship type of love (Modern day Greek), it includes loyalty to friends, family and community. It’s also, a very virtuous type of love. And now that we have defined love, let’s take a look at what is inside us. Keyword: Platonic.
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If one has to choose but one kind of love, it should be Agape love. This is the love that all others should be based on. So now that we have the definitions, can we spot the love in our own lives? If you are in a relationship, how many of you can say honestly that you have all three types of love? For your children, can you honestly profess that you give them all three types of love? Is it the sacrificial type? Do you put your needs and wants above your children’s? Would you lay down your life for your spouse, your child, a friend or even a neighbor? How about someone you don’t even know? Who loves us this deeply; our parents or a brother or sister? Don’t you know that we cannot love like this unless God shows us how?
Since we are talking right now about the Agape love, the love that is actually God given to the world at large, we must include what the Bible says about this kind of love. It actually speaks volumes to the subject, most by example. In John 3:16 it tells us that “God SO loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son so that whoever believes in Him would not perish but have eternal life”. God didn’t kill His Son, He gave Him up on the cross and Jesus went willingly to save us from our sins for all time. Why would Jesus do that? Simply, after the fall in the Garden, we have all taken a walk on the wild side and are now born with sin in us. The wages (payment) for sin is death (of the body and the spirit)! It requires a sinless blood sacrifice to take away our sin (which I’m sure a lot of you will not understand) but, animals could not provide this. So What Were They Thinking?
Again, I advise you to read 1 Corinthians, Chap. 13 and find out what God has to say about true Agape love. This is the type of love we are told, that comes from God, Himself. If you haven’t already read what is commonly referred to as the “love chapter”, you will find that it gives the best definitions of what love is and what it is not than anything I have ever read, by far.
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Now let’s talk about Eros. This is the passionate, sensual kind of love one would have for their spouse. A desire to be united with the person you have a wonderful affection for. Generally speaking, the desire is in us to procreate, to make life after ourselves and to essentially prolong our existence through another. It is the original desire of the world. This desire is in our genes. It has been with us since mankind first appeared on the world scene. Yet, this is the only sense in which it lasts. The love of Eros being a physical love, does not last. It changes in intensity and frequency according to the will of the mind and body.
However, in some cases, it looks nothing like what it started out to be. What interests me is how someone can be so passionately in love with another and in a short time later, become disrespectful and hateful to the same person they avowed their undying love to, resorting to name calling, emotional and physical abuses. Why…? For whose sake do they do these things to one another? It certainly does not make the other person feel better about their self nor is it of any benefit to either party. In a sense, there almost seems to be some kind of vengeance thing going on. What kind of hatred wells up inside a person to make him or her do this to another person? What Were They Thinking?
If people enjoin in a relationship basing that relationship on this kind of love, there is no reason to believe it could last. Because it is a temporal and physical love, it’s easy to turn sour. People need to base a lasting relationship whether it’s marriage, or friendship on something more substantive. Not doing so is perhaps why the divorce rate in this country is between 50 and 60% at any given time (sometimes higher).
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Finally, what about Philia love, the fraternal, brotherly type love that we give, or do we? If we are to consider what the Bible says about who is our brother or neighbor in these instances, we must also consider whether or not we are responding as we should. I believe this is one of the most difficult kinds of love to achieve. The Bible again states plainly these words, “He who hates his brother, has murdered him in his heart”. These are fairly strong words. Just who is your brother or your neighbor? The Bible also speaks of the Golden Rule…”Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. How many of us can say we can abide by this 100% of the time? “To love those who love you is easy, the hard part is to love those who curse you (Matt. 5:43-46, Luke 6: 27-35)”. This is truly tough love!
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Now that you are a little more informed as to what love is and what it isn’t, What Were You Thinking it was? Do your ideas and beliefs line up with what is shared here today with you? Do you love others as you love yourself? Do you love yourself (and I don’t mean pamper yourself or take pride of yourself) I mean really and truly for your benefit, love yourself? Do you think of what is beneficial for you rather than, demanding the things you think you want? I don’t ask these questions because I have a need to know, I ask because YOU should know how and why you love and are loved.
It isn’t an easy thing at times, to love yourself or others. In fact, it’s probably the hardest thing you can do but is it worth the effort? You bet it is! “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach” (Elizabeth Barrett Browning). And this is the way I love people, myself and my God. If everyone would strive to love this way, do you think we would have a better world or a world that is worse than we have now?
Please feel free as always to comment on what is written here. Be assured, I will return to you the most thoughtful, kind, truthful and loving answer I can.
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